Dec 18, 2003
Do love see butch, femme or andro?

Author: margo

Date Posted: 03:48:01 10/20/01 Sat

 

do love see butch, femme or andro? di dunia lesbian ada istialah untuk feminim, tomboy ato setengah dari keduanya itu. kecendrungan setiap orang akan memilih satu dari penggolongan itu. entahlah apakah penggolongan itu berdasarkan penampilan mereka ato pun dari kecendrungan secara mental kita. saya sendiri mengolongkan diri ke golongan tomboy karena secara fisik saya akan terlihat tomboy. tapi entahlah yah, krn bisa dibilang saya lebih sering menangis dibandingkan pacar saya yang feminim. :) banyak di antara mereka mengatakan lebih baik km jadi fem aja dari pada butch! saya rasa ini yang ingin saya bagi kepada teman2 sekalian

 

saya memiliki pacar namanaya afi, dia andro. bisa dibilang penampilnya super tomboy dengan suaranya yang serak2. pertama kali saya memimpikan seorang pacar yang feminim dengan kelembutnya dan lain sebagainya. tapi afi membuka mata saya lebar dia mengatakan " apakah kasih, cinta dan sayang akan melihat siapa yang akan menerimanya? apakah 2 orang manusia yang saling menyayangi harus di pisahkan karena pengolongan itu?"

dia tingal di sdyney, disana dia memiliki teman yang lesbian dengan pasangannya yang sama2 tomboy.

 

sejak itu saya merasakan hal-hal yang berbeda dari hari kehari. saya mencintai afi, sangat mencintai dia dan gak tau dari mana munculnya. mungkin secara fisik saya tidak tertarik dengannya tapi yang saya rasakan adalah rasa aman, damai, dan bermasa depan.

 

sekarang yang menjadi pertanyaan apakah salah untuk mencitai seseorang yang tomboy untuk menjadi pasangaan saya? apakah masalah pengolongan tadi benar2 penting? apakah cinta dan sayang melihat fisik?

saya merasa masih banyak di antara kita yang memberikan persayaratan bermacam2 untuk calon pacarnya, saya tidak melarang toh ini masalah pribadi masing2.

 

tapi saya ingin membagi pengalaman bahwa kadang kita gak bisa memilih dan mencari karena ketika dia datang dan begitu dekat dengan kita, hanya ada dua kemungkinan : pertama tidak melihat karena begitu sibuk mencari dan kedua melihat serta mengesampingkan semua ragu yang kita miliki. saya bahagia dan saya juga ingin teman2 juga bahgia :)

 

dan sekarang bila ada yang bilang kesaya kenapa saya gak jadi fem aja, saya akan menjawab its not important!

 

Author: foxy

Date Posted: 03:22:42 10/22/01 Mon

 

bener...

 

gue begitu baca posting ini juga merasa kalo pengkotak-kotakan dlm dunia lines kadang malah bikin kita bingung sendiri...

bravo margo!

 

Author: Bonnie

Date Posted: 07:37:52 10/22/01 Mon

 

Hello Margo,

 

Aku sih termasuk yang pro non-label walaupun setiap kali bilang begitu aku dipelototin seperti melihat hantu :) hehehehehe aku barangkali ya? Sorry, sementara saya jumpalitan mempersiapkan catering eh gathering, mungkin sementara sementara coba baca dulu artikel yang membahas soal ini (yang pernah dibahas di Fridae.com), silahkan menyimak di salah satu page archive (lupa yang nomor berapa - Lihat kanan atas halaman ini) yang berjudul label..label...label...diposting oleh saya sendiri. Setelah dibaca nanti aku akan kasih tanggapan yang puanjang dan luebar dech! Asal nggak capek aja bacanya.

 

Semoga bermanfaat!

 

Salam,

 

 

:)

 

Author: margo

Date Posted: 05:22:58 10/25/01 Thu

 

thx yah bon. ak juga tuh gak tahan tingal 2 hari lagi untuk acara gartingan :)

yah entah lah cuman kadang rese aja lah kalo ada yang bilang"pokoknya FEM, gua mau yang cantik........bla2"

kadang apa gak mikir ada yang lebih peting aja dari itu. kadang2 bingung aja kalo kita dah mencari jalan hidup yan berbeda dengan harapan lebih baik dari sebelomnya, ternyata yang kita dapetin adalah sama aja. (sigh) moga2 banyak orang yang lama2 akan mengerti tentang ini semuanya. thx yah buat dukungannya.

 

Author: bonnie

Date Posted: 03:29:08 10/24/01 Wed

 

Margo,

 

Ini dia artikel yang aku bilang...aku copy aja buat topik ini supaya mudah membuat rujukan. Happy reading!

 

This is the first of a fortnightly column by Fire Sia in Manila, Philippines. She speaks candidly about labels, finding herself and what it means to be a lesbian.

 

I am in love with a womyn - that is what is important to me. Never mind if she's butch, femme or androgynous, what matters is that she is the sensitive, kind and loving womyn I have chosen to be with. Being lesbian makes us look like complicated creatures. For most straights I know, there is only one kind of lesbian: butch. It seems to be difficult for them to understand that a lesbian is simply a womyn-loving-womyn, regardless of labels. When I was in college, I used to think that I had to identify with either the butches or the femmes. Femmes weren't considered lesbian, but butches were. I know, I know...sounds really weird, but that's how things were. And even if my mother hated my baggy jeans and big t-shirts, I chose to be butch and that was a dangerous choice. I studied in an all-girls Catholic college and as far as the student handbook was concerned, lesbianism was not permitted and was punishable by expulsion. It was so easy for them to kick out the butches. To them, the femmes were still "normal" and it was the butches who were deviants. How sad it is that many people still believe that femmes are actually straight. This is more often based on the assumption that all femmes like lesbians who look male because in reality, they are still attracted to men. I disagree. Of course, there are femmes who believe that their partners are actually men trapped in women's bodies, now that's a different story altogether - and I will talk about that next time. Somehow I managed to stay and graduate from college before they thought of actually kicking me out. I was lucky. It was not until I enrolled in graduate school that I learned much more about myself. I joined a university based lesbian organization, first one in my country in fact, and little did I know that I was to discover that there was more than one kind of lesbian.

 

The first and most important lesson was defining a lesbian. A lesbian is a womyn who loves other womyn. So to identify as lesbian, I had to first identify as a womyn, then as a womyn-loving-womyn. Imagine all those years in college, I was pressured to look, think and act male because I thought being lesbian meant becoming a man. Of course I was very happy to find out that I need not identify as a man at all, and that being lesbian was even acknowledging a different and special kind of femininity. The next step was to get comfortable with the idea of labels. I then learned that there wasn't just one kind of lesbian. In simple terms, femmes were the more feminine lesbians and butches were on the masculine side. It was a relief for me to find out that butches weren't the only lesbians in the world. I was happy to know that femmes can identify as lesbian too. I immediately identified as butch, based on my physical appearance. The only problem there was that some other butch womyn thought of me as someone "in-the-middle." They pointed out that I was too feminine to be butch (very true). From that time on, I just stopped labeling myself and decided, that if I should be labeled, I'd be called an androgynous lesbian. The process I went through helped me get over a lot of my hang-ups and insecurities. It helped define me not only as a lesbian but as person as well. I needed to know the truth and when I found it, I felt better about myself. The people who hear the story of my realization have a difficult time breaking their thoughts away from the stereotypical definitions they were used to believing. Those stereotypes have done nothing but make people afraid of us and call us freaks. After educating ourselves, I think that society needs to be educated about homosexuality too. We can't deny that there are homosexuals who have given us a bad name but it's our chance to prove that a great majority of our minority is composed of good, responsible and respectful people.

 

Salam,

Bonnie

 

Author: Egi

Date Posted: 18:36:06 10/26/01 Fri

 

Hore...hidup Margo...hidup Bonnie, satu lagi, hidup...starbuck


Posted at 11:32 pm by ILF-Voy6346

 

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